Making Friends
on the Band Bus

How to Meet People, Make Someone Laugh, Be a Good Friend, and Make the Ride Better for Everyone

The Person Sitting Three Rows Away

Look around the bus.

Seriously.

Look up from your phone for a second and look around.

There may be forty, fifty, or sixty people riding with you today. You probably know most of their names. You know who plays trumpet, who plays flute, who is in the drumline, who is in color guard, and who always seems to arrive at rehearsal thirty seconds before the director calls everyone to attention.

But how many of them do you actually know?

Three rows behind you may be someone you have rehearsed beside for two years but have never had a real conversation with.

Across the aisle may be someone who loves the same music you do.

A freshman near the back may be wondering whether anybody in the band knows their name.

The person laughing louder than everyone else may actually be having a terrible day.

And the quiet person staring out the window may become one of the best friends you ever make.

You never know.

That's the strange thing about friendship.

Most great friendships don't begin with dramatic music playing in the background.

They begin with ordinary sentences.

“Hey, I'm Randall.”

“What instrument do you play?”

“Is anybody sitting here?”

“Where did you get that sweatshirt?”

“What are you listening to?”

And sometimes:

“Are you okay?”

The band bus is an unusual place.

For much of the school year, band members are busy.

You rehearse.

You march.

You tune.

You count.

You practice.

You move equipment.

You listen to directors.

You try desperately to remember whether the next move is eight-to-five or six-to-five.

But on the bus, something different happens.

You have time.

Time to talk.

Time to laugh.

Time to discover that the person you thought was intimidating is actually hilarious.

Time to learn that somebody else is nervous about college too.

Time to find out that the percussionist you barely know is obsessed with the same video game you are.

Time to make a friend.

This book is not about becoming popular.

It is not about collecting followers.

It is not about learning tricks that make people like you.

It is about something much better.

It is about learning how to notice people.

How to introduce yourself.

How to ask a good question.

How to listen.

How to make someone laugh without hurting someone else.

How to include the person nobody seems to notice.

How to be there when somebody is having a bad day.

How to handle friendships when they become complicated.

And how to become the kind of person other people are glad to have sitting beside them.

The bus is moving.

You might as well meet somebody.